Tag Archives: vibrators

Vibrators Are Not the Devil

I Rub My Devil Duckie

“I’m gon’ say something that I know you gon’ disagree with. Vibrators are the fucking devil.” (via late night phone conversation)

I give the guy points for his honesty. Many, many people think that vibrators are not-so-great or potentially damaging to relationships. I also give the guy points for his perspicacity. I completely disagree with the passé notion that vibrators are bad.

A vibrator is an inanimate object. Any evilness that we see is our own intention manifested in the object. Want to avoid a human relationship but still get off? Vibrator to the rescue. Want to make your lover feel inadequate and replaceable? Bring on the Battery Operated Boyfriend. Have issues getting off with another person and want to avoid dealing with it completely? Replace the human romance with a Rechargeable Romeo.

Beyond that, a vibrator is a sex toy. A TOY. Not a partner, not a device, not an appliance. A toy. For fun. If someone uses a sex toy to avoid human contact or replace it, they do so because of a preexisting desire. Vibrators, or any sex toy, will not create sexual recluses.

I laugh when people say that they prefer “natural” sex, as if anything unnatural is abhorrent and suspect. Do you drive a car? Enjoy that fridge in your kitchen? Perhaps you’re a fan of indoor plumbing? Humans like technology. We like creating objects that speed up our jobs or enhance our lives in some way.

Vibrators are no exception. Maybe I should make a sex toy gift basket for my sex toy hatin’ friend. Or give him a good rundown of vibrator history.

Advice: Masturbating all the Time

Curious, is there any evidence that masturbating All the time is bad/harmful? (question via Twitter)

My, this is a curious question. I’ll try to answer it in as many ways possible. Above all else, masturbation itself is not harmful. You will not go insane, grow hairy palms or develop out-of-control acne. Our collective anxiousness over masturbation is borne from years of anti-masturbation rhetoric intended to push people towards more reproductive sex acts. Like rape and incest.

Many people express anxiety over masturbation frequency. Am I doing it too much? How much is too much? If your life is impacted negatively by your masturbatory habits then you masturbate too much. If you cannot control your impulses and tend to stick you hand down your pants like a 5 year old at a dinner party then you masturbate too much. Other than that, even if you are squeezing one off at work, who cares? As long as you clean up after yourself, don’t get caught on camera and remember the cover sheet on the TPS report you’re golden.

The one possible physical effect of “over-masturbating” would be calloused genitals. This can be avoided by one of my favorite things: LUBE. All you have to do is cut down on skin to skin friction and no callous will form. One very misinformed, young, unqualified professor of mine tried to claim this could happen with vibrators. I wanted to throw a book at him. Friction develops callused body parts, not vibrations.

I have heard one rumor, rather unsubstantiated but ubiquitous:

I heard it from Fark.com. Can you confirm the veracity of their claims? Hit me up.

Sex Toy Design: Aloe

In the luxury sex toy market design reigns supreme, second only to durability. a friend sent me a link to an interesting new sex toy design done by Discoh, a Spanish design company.

The toy is inspired by the aloe vera plant and uses its-not-a-sex-toy style packaging. Once out of the packaging, however, the toy appears a tad more prurient.

See? The aloe has a glans. Following their design inspiration, would we then call the tip the glans plantus?

Sex toy design is fascinating, especially the toys that emerge on the luxury market. I find some designs uninspired, like the Jimmy Jane line, while others such as Lelo or the Eroscillator are pushing the envelope for design and function.

Perscribed Orgasms, Not Sex

In the late 19th and early 20th century, many women were diagnosed with female hysteria, a generally vague affliction that could cause things like irritability and trouble making tendencies. (Male hysteria was also recognized but not as publicly and the treatment was usually just psychotherapy). Because the clitoris was not publicly recognized as a major point of sexual response, doctors would massage a lady’s happy button as treatment for hysteria. This was not considered a sexual act but probably a profitable one for the doctors as the massage was “treatment” and not a “cure” from some whack affliction

As this was pretty time consuming and could lead to some sore wrists and fingers, the vibrator was invented as a mechanical alternative. Once vibrators began appearing in “stag films” (porn!) and the sexual nature of the objects started to become publicly known, the treatment for hysteria was a little scandalized. Doctors definitely stopped giving clitjobs at that point but still kept selling vibrators. Did you know that you used to have a medical prescription to get one? I mean, in many parts of the country they’re still sold as marital aids.