Can We Do It Like Bonobos?

As a burgeoning sexuality student I had a mild obsession with the human implications of bonobo sexual behaviors. They were like this unshared secret of zoology, hidden from sight on nature channels because of apparent prurience and I wondered if we could locate some inherent sexual truth about humanity by looking at bonobos. But doing that means locating the same truths in chimpanzee behavior. Human predilection towards rape, war, and infanticide would be just as valid as promiscuity, cooperation and sex for the fun of it.

In evaluating and understanding our own, often confounding, sexual behaviors I think it’s a mistake to hold any other animal up as an ideal or try to identify immutable parts of our sexual behavior by observing them.

The Hugging Stairway

Every week on the way to my office on campus I pass the most endearing sight: a man and a woman sitting on the stairs, eating lunch and hugging. The world speeds by around them during their coinciding lunch break and they so happy in their tiny little bubble.

From what I can tell, they work as groundskeepers or janitors for the university. I sometimes hear them whispering to each other in Spanish while the man strokes the woman’s hair. Whenever I see them I want to stop and watch them for awhile, if only reaffirm my faith in humanity and the positive power of love.

I tried in vain to find a picture that would capture their quiet devotion to each other but every picture of couples hugging or snuggling on stairways seemed so plastic compared to them.

I hope I see them today.