Vibrators Are Not the Devil


I Rub My Devil Duckie

“I’m gon’ say something that I know you gon’ disagree with. Vibrators are the fucking devil.” (via late night phone conversation)

I give the guy points for his honesty. Many, many people think that vibrators are not-so-great or potentially damaging to relationships. I also give the guy points for his perspicacity. I completely disagree with the passé notion that vibrators are bad.

A vibrator is an inanimate object. Any evilness that we see is our own intention manifested in the object. Want to avoid a human relationship but still get off? Vibrator to the rescue. Want to make your lover feel inadequate and replaceable? Bring on the Battery Operated Boyfriend. Have issues getting off with another person and want to avoid dealing with it completely? Replace the human romance with a Rechargeable Romeo.

Beyond that, a vibrator is a sex toy. A TOY. Not a partner, not a device, not an appliance. A toy. For fun. If someone uses a sex toy to avoid human contact or replace it, they do so because of a preexisting desire. Vibrators, or any sex toy, will not create sexual recluses.

I laugh when people say that they prefer “natural” sex, as if anything unnatural is abhorrent and suspect. Do you drive a car? Enjoy that fridge in your kitchen? Perhaps you’re a fan of indoor plumbing? Humans like technology. We like creating objects that speed up our jobs or enhance our lives in some way.

Vibrators are no exception. Maybe I should make a sex toy gift basket for my sex toy hatin’ friend. Or give him a good rundown of vibrator history.

One thought on “Vibrators Are Not the Devil”

  1. ok…maybe “the devil” was a lil’ dramatic.
    i had to look up perspicacity…and yes i am perspicacious—word is bond son dun.

    “Any evilness that we see is our own intention manifested in the object.”—umm,,,i don’t have money for a therapist at the moment,,,but when i do, i’ll get back to you.

    and thanx but no thanx on the gift basket—i’d rather you get me a laying hen (they’re only $15,,,way cheaper than a platinum butt plug).

    —the guy

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