Friends with Benefits


The concept of friends with benefits is one oft spoken of but rarely enacted with much grace. Sex arouses emotions as much as anything else and without proper boundaries in place, feelings get hurt. There are no cultural examples of functioning fuck buddies available but here are guidelines for maintaining friendship and sex.

  1. No dates. You are not a couple, you are friends that also have sex together. Dates should be reserved for people forging romantic connections. Hang out but don’t go out.
  2. Hang out. You don’t need to fuck every time you see each other. Make sure to spend time just being friends or else everything becomes about the sex and boundaries will be blurred.
  3. Say what you need. Make sure both parties know what’s going on that night. Are you kicking it or sticking/rubbing/licking it? Or both? Communication is key during and in between any sexual encounter.
  4. Don’t spend the night. Snuggling through the night and waking up in bed together is pretty romantic and intimate. Hang out, have sex, but don’t get up in the morning together to make pancakes.
  5. Limit affectionate sexual touching to sexytime only. Don’t be out on the street holding hands and sucking face. Go to a private place to do that. Unless you’re at a sex party or something.
  6. Know what you want. If you want more than sex, be honest with yourself and your friend! Do not keep having sex in hopes that a relationship will magically emerge.
  7. Know that the sex can end at anytime. You must be OK with this and keep the friendship floating beyond fuckfest waters. Don’t harbor bitterness because your friend has found someone to date! You should be happy for your friend and thankful for the fun, intimate moments you shared. You may not see them as much anymore, but this happens with any friend outside of sexual intimacy.

Having a friend with benefits can be an awesome experience. It can also be confusing, draining and harbor feelings of doubt. You must be very assured of yourself if you are going to engage in this kind of relationship. Hopefully these guidelines will serve you well. Happy friend fucking!

2 thoughts on “Friends with Benefits”

  1. Great guidelines! Most important to me is #5, limiting affection. Delineating the difference between FBs and partners and then reinforcing the distinction with social stigma keeps the two nicely disparate. As long as others pin you & your buddy as just friends, you’re more likely to stay happily so.

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