Reactions to Mythical Sex Educators


The weekend is almost here and that means I have social obligations on top of work. I’m blessed to have a large group of friends that know and love what I do. But my active social life involves a much larger population than my immediate friends.

I try to avoid telling people what I do when I first meet them. If pressed, I tell them that I am a teacher. For most people, this is boring enough to move forward in the conversation. for others, their curiosity gets the best of them.

The reaction is always along the lines of “Woah” “Really” or “Wow”. I brace myself when I interact with the general population, for whom sex means Cosmo Bedside Astrologer and Maxim Babes. Women demonstrate only a passing interest though sometimes they will pull me aside and confide their most anxious sex dilemmas. Men are more peculiar in their reactions. Here’s a breakdown.

1) The Oversexed Alpha Male: “Oh, I bet you could teach me a thing or two.” They wink and postulate about my sex life as their perception of me moves from Madonna to Jezebel. Suddenly they can aggressively flirt because only sluts with no standards talk about sex all the time.

2) The Nervous Guy: “Um, heh, wow, I can’t imagine you as my sex ed teacher. Heh.” I know about sex. I’m female. I am to be feared. I am like the exotic single aunt that comes to visit on the holidays and brazenly describes the night spent window-shopping in Amsterdam: enticing but scary.

3) The Confessional Boy: “Really? Oh, I have to tell you about this girl…” Many guys keep silent and usually gloss over sex details with male friends. They are like a teenager with their first diary. Too long have they kept quiet about how their ex-girlfriend’s pussy tasted like marshmallows. I am their personal repository.

4) The Limited Reaction Man: “Oh, wow. That’s pretty cool. How do you like it?” A rare and elusive creature, this male is not really phased by my job. Sex is interesting but he is not obsessed with fucking. I want to meet more of these.

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